Phill was just sixteen when he joined the Army, in 1975.
“I went in as a junior soldier in the Royal Engineers,” he said. “My first training post was in Dover, in the Junior Leaders regiment. When I finished there, I went to Southwood Camp at Cove, where I finished off my training. My first posting was Northern Ireland, for 18 months, and during that time I got my artisan trade, in carpentry and joinery. In the Royal Engineers you get a civilian trade as well as army training, and mine was in carpentry and joinery. I spent three months doing that at Chatham, in Kent. After Northern Ireland, I was posted to Berlin for two years, then I went out to Belize in Central America, to Denmark, and all over this country as well. I loved it.”
Maddie, Phill’s wife, also served in the Army, although they didn’t meet until after they had both left.
“We met at Buckmore Park, in Kent,” said Phill. “I was a prison officer, supervising prisoners working there in the community, on day release, and Maddie was working there as a scout leader. We just clicked. She’d been in the ambulance service in the Army.”
Phill and Maddie bought a house in Turkey and went there on holiday regularly.
"Every time we came back, we said we wished we were still out there,” said Phill. “So, we made the decision to sell up and go and live there. We were there for three and a half years. The only reason we came back was to care for my dad, who had Alzheimer's, to keep him out of a care home for as long as possible.”
Phill was referred to our Living Well service by the respiratory team at the Royal Surrey County Hospital, who he had been seeing since his diagnosis of COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease).
"It was about a year and a half ago, I suppose,” he said. “They told me about the services that Phyllis Tuckwell provide, and said 'do you fancy it?' I said I'd give it a go, anything that helps."
Our Living Well service is designed to support patients who are living with an advanced or terminal illness, to manage the impact of their illness, cope with changes, improve their wellbeing and remain as independent as possible. It also supports their families and carers, too. By being referred earlier in their illness, patients can access support which can help them to manage their symptoms, cope with everyday life, and continue to do the things that they enjoy and that are important to them. The team includes doctors, nurses, rehabilitation assistants, physiotherapists, occupational therapists, complementary therapists, psychologists, counsellors, patient & family advisors, dietitians and our Pastoral Care team. They provide a range of medical and therapeutic services to promote physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.
The team contacted Phill and asked him and Maddie along to one of our coffee afternoons, which are held twice a month at our Beacon Centre in Guildford. They are open to our Living Well patients and carers, as well as anyone who wants to find out more about our services. Those attending can meet and chat to others over a cup of tea and biscuits, play board games, have a relaxing massage or reflexology treatment, and ask our staff and volunteers any questions they may have.
"They said we could come along to a coffee afternoon and talk to them there, and that we could see what they had to offer and take it a bit at a time,” said Phill.
Phill and Maddie started coming to the coffee afternoons regularly, and got chatting to Clare, one of our rehabilitation assistants. She told Phill about our Living Well programmes, which support patients with advice and information on how to manage symptoms and continue living everyday life with their illness. We offer two programmes: Living Well with Illness and the Creative programme. Both run over eight weeks, and offer a two-hour session each week, on different subjects. Living Well with Illness includes topics such as food and nutrition, managing fatigue and improving your sleep, while the Creative programme offers activities such as confidence through cooking, mindfulness with clay and therapy through nature. We also offer a four-week programme on breathlessness, which teaches patients and carers gentle exercises and breathing techniques, and gives advice on relaxation strategies. Maddie came along to that with Phill, and they both learnt techniques to help manage Phill’s breathing.
“It was very informative,” she said. “There was a lot that I already knew because of being in the ambulance service in the Army, but there was still a lot that I didn’t know. They covered different ways of breathing, from the stomach and not just from the chest. It's a technique that you don’t know unless you’ve been taught it, and it was really good for both of us to learn.”
“It was good for Maddie to come to those sessions, so she could understand how I feel when I get out of breath, and how to help me, because I panic,” said Phill. “It enabled us to work together better to help manage my breathing.”
As well as finding the Living Well sessions informative, Phill and Maddie have also enjoyed chatting to our staff and the other patients in the group.
"All the staff are so helpful,” said Phill. “They've always got time for you.”
“Jo on reception is absolutely brilliant,” agreed Maddie. “She offers you a drink as soon as you get there, and stands and talks to you. She doesn't hurry you. She’s really lovely, and so is Maria. Nobody rushes you or makes you feel uncomfortable. It's also lovely that they offer the carers pamper days. I've been to two now and they’ve been absolutely brilliant. I've had my hair cut and had a massage. I didn't expect it all to be free. I've had my nails done too, and they do a lovely lunch there as well. It's very relaxing. You need that occasionally.”
Our ladies’, men’s and carers’ pamper days are run by our complementary therapy team, supported by our volunteers. They are held at the Beacon Centre, and offer patients a range of therapies to choose from, including a foot, hand or back and neck massage, or a reflexology session. They can also have a pedicure or manicure, and a haircut. Ladies are offered a make-over and men can choose to have a beard trim. Lunch is also provided, and everyone can chat together while they eat. Pamper days are important in reducing patients’ and carers’ stress and anxiety, and boosting their wellbeing and self-esteem. Being in a relaxed, social environment, and talking about things other than their illness or being a carer, helps them to regain a sense of normality. Phill has attended one of our men’s pamper days, where he had his hair cut and enjoyed a relaxing massage.
"It was really good. I had my haircut by Jules, she's an absolutely brilliant hairdresser, and I had a neck and shoulder massage too.”
Our coffee afternoons, Living Well sessions and pamper days are great places for patients and carers to meet others who are in a similar situation, build friendships and benefit from peer support.
“I've met new people at Phyllis Tuckwell,” said Maddie, “other carers, everybody's in the same position. You just sit and have a chat. You can say as much or as little as you want, nobody pushes you for anything. There are times when you can be dropping your partner off at the Beacon Centre, and they're only going to be there maybe an hour or so, and it's not long enough for you to go back home before you have to pick them up again. So if there's a couple of you, you can go to a cafe and have a coffee and a chat.”
"The staff are always there, if you've got a question,” said Phill. “You can always ask them and they'll try and help out. When we first started going, I was having problems with my medication. I mentioned it to the staff and the next thing I knew they were phoning the doctor's surgery and trying to sort it out for me - and they did. If you want something sorted, they're on the case pretty quick. Clare's always saying, if you've got a problem, give us a phone and we'll see what we can do. It's really good.”
