Des served in the Army for 24 years, after joining when he was a teenager. He is currently being cared for by our Living Well team, whose sessions he attends at the Beacon Centre in Guildford.
Caption: Des at a Living Well session with Steph, one of our rehabiliation assistants, and a Pets as Therapy dog.
“I was born in Southern Ireland, just outside Cork,” said Des. “We came to England before the Second World War started, and lived out in the country, near Peterborough. Unfortunately, my older brother Bernard and I both became very ill. We were sent to a convalescent home in Epping Forest to recover. After the war we returned home, having become quite well again. We arrived home in 1947 to a new brother and sister, and gradually become one big loving family again. My parents worked on a local farm, and I helped by looking after the bees and the chickens. When I left school, I continued working on the farm, driving tractors, ploughing fields, digging up potatoes. However, farming wasn’t something I wanted to do all my life. My brother Bernard had already joined the Army, and a few years later I followed him.”
“Being in the Army was like having another family. Everyone relied on each other; we really knitted together. I went through the basic training and was fast-tracked to become an instructor in weapons training for new recruits. I was posted to Aldershot in 1956, where I met my future wife, Denise. I was sent overseas several times over the next few years but would see Denise each time I returned. While I was away, I would phone her; we had to book our phone calls, and we were only allowed three minutes. We set our marriage date, and I was given two and a half weeks leave. We honeymooned in Guernsey, and then when we returned, I had a notification to return to unit and was sent overseas again.”
“I was posted to Germany and was eventually allocated quarters there. Denise came out to join me, and about a year later our eldest son Duncan was born. I was posted back to the UK and we moved to Wiltshire, where our second son Patrick was born a few years later. I was absorbed into the training aspect of my work and in supporting the soldiers under my command. I made a point to know each of them by their first name, and to know about their families, so I could talk to them properly.”
“Following this posting, I was sent to Malaya and, once the troubles were over, I was able to bring my family out too. We enjoyed two years there, after which I was posted back to Germany, and then returned to the UK for my final two years in the Army. However, the Ministry of Defence required me to go to Canada, to a remote training base on the edge of a huge prairie. The nearest town was 20 miles away! When we returned to the UK, I decided to leave the Army, but I joined the Territorial Army and served with them for another 10 years, and both Duncan and Patrick have also joined the Army.”
“In 2023, it was suggested by the team at Frimley Park Hospital that they could refer me to Phyllis Tuckwell. I used to buy books from Phyllis Tuckwell’s charity shops, but other than that I didn't know too much about them. In early 2024, I received a lovely letter from Rachel, their Living Well sister, inviting me to attend one of their eight-week courses.”
When patients are referred to our care, they are assessed by our Advice & Referral Team, and are visited by one of our clinical nurse specialists or medics. They are then referred on to the most appropriate specialty within our organisation. For Des, this was our Living Well service, which helps patients to manage living everyday life with their illness.
“As soon as I walked through the door at the Beacon Centre, I felt the warmth. It was like another family, greeting me. Jo was at the door saying hello, and Rachel welcomed me in. She’s been very helpful, very kind. As the day went on, I could see how much dedication the staff put into caring for their patients. They listen, and in most cases they can resolve any problem I’ve got.”
Our Living Well team offers two eight-week programmes – Living Well with Illness and the Creative programme. These two-hour sessions give information on topics such as nutrition, mood, sleep, and exercise, and offer activities including Confidence through Cooking, Therapy through Nature, and Mindfulness with Clay. The sessions bring patients together to chat and get to know each other over a shared activity. For some, cooking, gardening or art may have been a loved hobby, while for others it gives them the opportunity to try something new. By engaging in these activities, they benefit from a physical and sensory experience, and gain a sense of achievement and a boost to their self-esteem which comes from completing them independently.
“Liz did a session on how your illness affects you. The way she put it over, it felt as though she was talking directly to me. I felt drawn in. It was really good. Another session, which I thought was very relaxing, was flower arranging. We had the pottery one too, and we were able to just do what we wanted, what we felt at the time.”
Living Well patients are also invited to our regular pamper days, which are run by our complementary therapists. They offer a range of treatments to help ease stress and anxiety, and boost confidence and self-esteem. Patients can have massages, nail care and haircuts, and enjoy a two-course lunch together.
Caption: Des having a foot massage at one of our pamper days.
“I’ve been to two pamper days. At the first one, I had my hair trimmed and my hands massaged; at the second, again I had my hair trimmed and then I had my feet massaged with oils. That made me feel so refreshed. There are some other ex-military chaps here too, that I’ve met. We don’t talk about our careers, we talk about all the good, funny things that happened. I think of Phyllis Tuckwell as another family which I can go to, who I can talk to. I owe them a lot.”
