When Owen was 12, his dad Mervyn was admitted to our In-Patient Unit and spent his last days there. As well as caring for Mervyn, we supported Owen and his family too, both during Mervyn's illness and in bereavement. Now an adult, Owen wanted to support us in return, and took on a 1,525 mile drive around the UK mainland to raise money to help fund our care.
“My granddad was into cars and so was my dad; it's been passed along the family," said Owen. "They both had some cool cars, and as soon as I got my licence, I wanted to do the same. I've got two cars and I absolutely love them. It's a hobby but it's also a lifestyle, too. I’ve met so many people through it. The car I drove on the road trip is a 1997 Mazda MX5 MK1 which I've nicknamed 'Miko'. We drove around the UK, including to the high end of Scotland, Wales, the Lake District, the midlands and the high end of England. In total we raised £1,500, which I'm so pleased with. I chose to support Phyllis Tuckwell because of how well they treated my dad before he passed away, and the support they gave me growing up. Dad was at the Hospice in 2015, and after he died, I was a bit lost. There wasn't really anyone I could talk to who could relate to it.”
Mervyn was cared for on our In-Patient Unit, where we provide 24-hour symptom management and end of life care. As well as offering our patients medical, nursing, therapeutic, welfare and pastoral care, we support their relatives and carers too, both during their loved one's illness and in bereavement. Our Little Rays group is for bereaved children aged 5-12 years old, and uses craft activities and storytelling to help them to understand and manage their feelings around their loss. We provide one-to-one counselling for adults and young people, and can help parents as they have difficult conversations with their children about death and bereavement. This includes helping them to understand and talk about death and dying, and supporting families to plan for the future, with the involvement of the child or young person where possible.
“I met other people who had the same sort of experience as me," said Owen. "In normal school life, there aren’t many people who have that. Sometimes we spoke about our experiences, other times we just enjoyed the social environment. It was good to be able to get away from everything and have a distraction. It worked well. You knew that if you wanted to talk about things, these people have the same sort of experience as you, but you also knew you didn’t have to talk if you didn’t want to. We went to the Light up a Life service, and we also had a leaf on the Memory Tree, which we visited, and I have that leaf now."
Our Memory Tree is a specially designed piece of artwork which is situated in a quiet area of our Hospice reception. Anyone who would like to, can have one of its leaves engraved with the name of their loved one, for a donation to help us provide our specialist care for others who need our support.
Light up a Life is another way in which people can remember their loved one. Held each year in the run up to Christmas, it gathers people together for a service of remembrance at Guildford Cathedral. Those who would like to can make a dedication in memory of their loved one, which will appear in the evening's Order of Service and be projected onto the Cathedral after the service.
“We went to Light up a Life as a family," said Owen. "It's a nice atmosphere; you know everyone there's got the same sort of background. It's nice to speak to people who can understand what you've been through, it really does help. There's a real community atmosphere to the evening. Phyllis Tuckwell offered us a lot of things which helped us remember my dad in a really lovely way, and in a relaxed atmosphere. They provided such amazing facilities for me as a child, which really helped me growing up, so I wanted to give something back by doing the road trip."
Owen was accompanied on the trip by his close friend Luke, who took photos and videos throughout, streaming daily mini movies of their journey online. They were also set Top Gear style challenges to complete along the way, by a friend.
"Luke's role was to organise the media side of things,” said Owen. “When I'm driving, I can't film, so he did the whole filming side of things, and he took photos of the entire trip, which we posted online as well. The challenges we were set could have been a bit nicer, but we got them all done! They included wearing a pink tutu in public, jumping in a loch, trying haggis, downing Irn-Bru, and getting in the back of a police car without being arrested! We made so many good memories on the trip. The landscape, particularly in Scotland, Wales and the Lake District, was incredible and the views were amazing. The weather was a bit hit and miss, we had a bit of rain, but generally it was quite good. The drives were mostly two to three hour stretches, and we took breaks between each location. I've only owned the car for about four months, and this was the longest drive I've taken it on. It was a huge undertaking and a step out of my comfort zone, but it was an incredible experience. Phyllis Tuckwell truly does mean the world to me. The care they gave my dad was honestly unbelievable, really invaluable. The donations I’ve received have been super heartwarming and I’d like to thank everyone for their amazing support."
