Kevin's mum and dad, Lynn and Rod, were both cared for on our In-Patient Unit (IPU), where they received end of life care and where Kevin and the rest of his family were supported through these difficult times. After Rod died, Kevin and his family attended our Light up a Life service, which is held just before Christmas each year, at Guildford Cathedral. The service remembers and celebrates the lives of those who are no longer with us, and who are so greatly missed. After the service, the names of those being remembered are projected onto the Cathedral in lights. Seeing his dad's name up there inspired Kevin to write a song, which he released as a Christmas single and which he will be performing at this year's Light up a Life service, with friends and family joining him as a choir.
"I was 38 when my dad died," said Kevin. "He was admitted to the IPU at the Hospice in March 2020. It was literally at the point the Covid pandemic began. It's bad enough going into hospice care, let alone during a major pandemic. He was on the IPU for a short time, over the March and April, and spent his last days there. Then, about a year after that, my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer. She was admitted to the IPU in 2022 and also spent her last days there."
Our In-Patient Unit, at our Hospice in Farnham, offers patients 24-hour symptom management and end of life care, and provides compassionate support for their loved ones, too.
"The stress that the nurses and all the staff were under during that pandemic, and how they dealt with it, was incredible. They were very unusual circumstances, very challenging. When Mum was admitted, that was obviously a slightly less stressful situation, but at both times the level of care we received was phenomenal. The bit that really struck me though, and that I wasn't really prepared for, was the care they provide for patients' family and friends, too. We were offered chats with the chaplain, the nurses would come in, sit with us, talk us through things. There was a huge amount that went into supporting us, and it was that wrap-around service that really took me aback, and that we were all extremely grateful for."
Kevin and his family attended our Light up a Life service in December 2020, to remember Rod and celebrate his life.
"At the Light up a Life service, I thought it was amazing to be able to look up and see his name projected in light onto the Cathedral. That inspired the lyrics for the song – it's called 'Christmas Spirit (I’ll Find You in the Lights)'. Phyllis Tuckwell provides the most incredible care for patients, but what they do for the ones that are left behind is just as incredible. Light up a Life brings people together to share this experience as a community. We're all in the same position."
"After the passing of my mum and dad, I went on a bit of a songwriting spree. About 20 years ago, I was taking music very seriously. I came out of sixth form and went to music college, started a band, a four-piece called 'Big Wednesday'; I was the vocalist and guitarist. We were assigned to a management label for a while; we played at Reading Festival and supported Blondie on the mainstage at GuilFest, but it's a difficult industry to crack."
"After Mum and Dad died, it was quite a tough couple of years. I was trying to find ways to cope with it, so I thought I'd go back to the things that I really like doing, and songwriting is one of those things. My dad used to collect toy soldiers, and he left me a large collection when he passed away. It was a hobby he got a lot of joy from, but it's not where I find joy. I kept some as a memory, but the rest I sold and used the money to buy a new guitar, which I used for my songwriting. One of my friends, Rauf, is a producer and has his own home studio, so I wrote a song, went into the studio and recorded it, and released it on Spotify. I enjoyed it so much that I set myself a challenge to record and release a song every month. Then at the end of the year, there was only one choice really - a Christmas song. I think at Christmas time we always look for those little signs, those memories, and having been to Light up a Life, I thought the idea of having these names projected onto the Cathedral was amazing. So that was my inspiration, finding someone's name in the lights. Then I added in all those Christmas memories that we have, that take us back to those special moments in time with our family. Last year I re-released the song, with some of my family and friends singing as a choir on it, because each of those people who are singing, they also have people that they're missing. To be invited to perform the song at Light up a Life, where it started, is a real honour. It's a full circle moment, really. And I'll be playing the guitar that will always remind me of Dad and his toy soldiers."
Before Kevin's dad was admitted to our IPU, Kevin didn't really have much experience or knowledge of hospice care.
"I'd heard of Phyllis Tuckwell, but I had no concept of what a hospice was, apart from it being where people go to spend their final days. I wasn't aware of the support that's given to everyone involved. When both Mum and Dad were on the IPU, the staff were always making sure we were aware of what was going on, of what the expectations were. Only when you're in and visiting do you get a sense of all the brilliant people that are there, the care you get, the care the patient gets. Events like Light up a Life show how amazing Phyllis Tuckwell is at bringing people together to share those experiences. It's that sense of community."
Kevin's family have also supported Phyllis Tuckwell in many ways.
"My wife Lucy ran the London marathon with her cousin Claire, to raise money for Phyllis Tuckwell, and my brother Chris and his wife Nikki did Pedal to Paris, to raise money for the new Hospice. They held a concert, PedalFest, to help with the fundraising, and I played at that, with my son Austen. It was a brilliant moment, being up on stage with him. Collectively, as a family, we're doing all we can to help Phyllis Tuckwell. We just want to pay them back for all the amazing care they provided."
